Ok. Here we go, this is the last post for the #forthedads trend that never was. Well, we had fun here, some of us discovered we could write, and some…. thought that 500 words were just too much for the men that brought them into this world. No hard feelings though, at least your reading this.
I’m sorry I didn’t post for the last twoish days, things are thick.
For the writers of these pieces, thank you. My posting 3 pieces here together signifies the end of this fun ka-ride. I hope you enjoyed this. Till next time comrades(Apparently when you here this word in Nairobi university, you know a strike is looming.)
First off we have Njagi Njeru, who likes to shun his English name to sound cooler. He has got one or two mentions in my previous posts and now here he is, in the flesh.( Well sort of) This was apparently an emotional piece for him. One for the tear works we have here. He is also one of my serious supporters. And with no father ado, (Did I spell that right? Another word that has absolutely no meaning by the way) here he is.
He stands at 5’8 ft with a almost completely receded hairline ( read bald) that he desperately camouflages with his weekly if not fortnightly visits to Ashley’s in Upperhill. Forgive me for the long introductory sentence but I really have a lot to say.
“Kijana Mlofa Boy Skulu” ( I don’t really know what language this is, nor spelling of the four words). Either way when I was much younger my dad would sing me this every time we would meet on the hallways of our, read his, abode in Buruburu. He has always been a firm supporter of education. He believes in education as the best way to solve world problems. He is intellectual. In fact…at his age that I choose to withhold he has decided to go back to school. (Trying to be modest) he got a division one in school. ☝
What about me ? I’ll answer that later.
I have had my run ins with indiscipline cases. My younger years were full of corrective violence nights and wet pillow cases. He carved me to the young,independent man I am today. I don’t know if I’d be anywhere close to what i am today if it wasn’t for him. Nilikuwa mkurutu i cannot even lie. He never,however, got tired of telling or rather advising me that a successful man will only remain successful if he is disciplined. Kwa kiboko, nilijua lakini kwa mawaidha , nilifunzwa.
My Dad, Alfred Sammy Njagi Njeru, is a remarkable man. I have never told him any of this really. How can I ? His face can be represented with accuracy by the emoticon 😑 (-_-) and you can never really know if your sentiments will be welcomed.
Anyway, the pressures of being the only son of an almost perfect man are immense. I, honestly owe my life to him. Its not about his XY chromosomes even nor genes but what he has taught me will forever be engraved in my heart. For sure i will pass all he has told me to my children ( God Willing I get kids. Hehe)
Id like to write more but I’d rather not continue lest i shed a tear or two. Lol.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
(Hopefully if he see’s this his representative emoticon will change.)
Ohh and btw so just you know… I LOVE MY FATHER TO DEATH
I promise to FURTHER my achivements just so as to make my FATHER proud and i pray to the Almighty FATHER that all this will come to be.
Next up, we have Tevin Chege Mungai. A queer man if ever there was one. He is simultaneously the weirdest and funniest man ever. (You get the hyperbole right? I mean, ever?) He used to be our class English representative. Which is saying something seeing as I was in this class. I don’t mean to toot my own horn but… toot toot. Oh did I mention that this is was one of those guys who know the weirdest facts ever? Anyway, here he is.
Mr Kefa Mungai Njenga. Well ours is a complicated story. And unlike Wanjiku wa Ng’ang’a, I fear that 500 words may be too much but I believe in effort so here we go. This right here is a man who we can say doesn’t belong. Going by the laws of Kenya, he lost his citizenship and is still not a citizen of the United States of America where he has been residing since I was two months old. Well I guess by now you get why 500 words may be too much. So in October 1996, two months after Tevin Chege Mungai was born (that’s me) Kefa left the country to go further his studies in the medical field in the USA. A proud moment for his wife (or mother of his son) and entire family. When I say medical field it’s common to believe that he’s a doctor or big name surgeon but he is actually a nurse. A fact that I lived in denial of for pretty much all my primary school life but that I have come to embrace and own. I have a nurse for a father, so what. I am still unsure of much pertaining to my feelings towards my dad but I am sure that I do love my dad. Reason being only one he has sacrificed everything for me and my mum. Working his ass off day and night to obtain my fees and pay all our bills (and I mean all, even my mother’s tithe) while still funding the tough legal issues that come with seeking a green card for his family.
But even though he is so far away. My dad still makes it to call on a regular basis. Give me some father son advice. The most important yet being about sex. He actually told me to use condoms, which if my mum heard she would flip and knock his teeth out before realising he actually made sense. For those who may be wondering. I have actually seen my dad once. The time August 2001,the place, Karatina. We used to live in an apartment block with a store for tanks next to the houses. I had just gotten home from school, itwas the closing day. So I see mum at a distance standing outside the door to the store and she tells me I have a surprise for you inside the store. I thought I was finally think am getting a bike but I go in and can’t find my bike. Then suddenly this older version of me appears and hugs me lifting me high in the air. It was my dad. And for the next two weeks we spent every day like it was our last. That was the only birthday I have spent with my dad and it is my best birthday ever.
It hurts me more than anything that my parents have to be so damn lonely just to ensure my future is as bright as it can be but it’s an opportunity I will take advantage off and use it to bring my dad back to my mum and give them back the last two decades. But life does start at 40 so I believe they still have there best years ahead. I love my dad. And I do miss him. But most of all. I appreciate him. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO YOU DAD and all other father’s out there.
Last and definitely not least, we have Joy Cleo Wangu. I have no idea whether or not Cleo is her real name, but it’s how she is saved on my phone so I’ll go with it. She was once my most fierce critic, until her phone started having “problems”. A gamemasters regular, she also gives the best advice on books to read. Here she is. Oh, she is also very funny.
I don’t know much about my dad. Probably because I was born in the 21st century where I expect him to express himself in words and selfies and a photo of a leaf on Instagram with a poetic quote on the book he’s reading while he,well,you know 20th Century lifestyle,he’ll have a drink with the guys and I should automatically figure out his favourite colour,car and that you shouldn’t tell mum how much he had to drink and all that stuff you need to know about dad when you go shopping for his birthday. But I’ve got away with this every time because I was either too cute for a gift or, in a hell hole far away where I was deprived of sugar that even the thought of his birthday cake would send me into a seizure. That wasn’t funny. Man,it’s hard to intend to be funny. Anyway,back to the old man. Pops or as my mum likes to call him when she’s talking behind his back “mbruce” this is slang my brothers used when they were in the university. A moment of silence for their fading youth. Pops is conservative,well,to us,his family. He’s like Bruce Wayne on steroids with his words! You get a max of seven words in a day “Hi Wangu,how are you today? Sawa”😂😂😂
He’ll only speak more if he’s giving some economic report to Robin (this is my eldest brother,his favourite. I said it)
Next point on the anatomy of George Munge,he’s so selfish. That point’s validity is questionable though because he did choose to have children,right? Ok. So shall we rephrase to,besides the basic needs pops is selfish😂😂😂? He’ll get dark chocolate for mum and I but we don’t even like chocolate much! Or when he gets me white chocolate with coconut (Dad loves coconut). White chocolate. I LOVE white chocolate. But uhh,dad,I’m allergic to coconut😐💆 For the 17th time this month.😂 I had a reaction to it on time 16 when I ate that piece you had and my face got rashes at time 16 and 22 hours. But what do you know, You like coconut,it’s the 18th time today😂
Throughout my life in school this was the motto “Wangu,single digits only” and hence,perfectionist dad. P.S. Single digits in terms of class position not grade.
We don’t eat out often,like,new restaurants and all. Because of perfectionist pops. “My bacon isn’t crispy(He never has breakfast meals at hotels for this reason btw).Your glasses are chipped. Wangu is your food cold?” “no dad,it’s warm” “HER FOOD IS COLD!” So anwyay, this perfectionism kept us all in line,no mess ups , for my siblings at least (insert the whole Ben Carson success story for them,for me,well,Amy Winehouse at the peak of her career will do. Haha) Well would you look at that, from no words to 500,this is the point where I told you “acha nicount” Mike. Haha. So anyway. We’ve got through a bit of old man Munge. Two points only. If you noticed,you are too serious a reader and I charge you to go read a Roald Dahl book,laugh a little. If you read the two points and thought they were three…
there is no hope.
My dad would probably have stopped reading at the two points part and call me “Hujui ni nini unaandika? Number your points!”
“Aaah,haha, So I have no hope?”
(Note,he used seven words in every instance)
He’s used fourteen words on me today!
I am now the favourite.
I think it’s only just that I mention that dad is still the most,ok, he’s the one God chose for me. I love him, from our comfortable silences, to our laughter during ads (except when the Durex ad comes on.haha). Know what? He is the best dad. Happy Father’s day pops.